sometimes illusions aren't so simple.

Saturday, December 8, 2007

I'm sorry guys,if you get sick of me talking about Ryyan, but this post is going to be about him again. I was watching all my untitled burned CD's with my family in the living room. Well, there's some raya pictures which dated as old as 2004. Had a few laughs at my stupid black face here and there. Reminiscing of the good ol moments. Till i put in and played a CD which contains pictures of my O level art and a few of Ryyan's mum bellydancing.

He was the one who helped me during my "stressful" days of the O levels. When i had no digicam at that time, he was the one who offered me to borrow his camera. When i had no pictures,he was the one who offered to take some for me.And i forgot about that. Just when i looked at the pictures, some of which he took for me at his home, some pictures which have his school uniform in it(with that councillor badge,:D), his room, his guitar, i start to remember all that he has done for me. He was the first person who really believed in what i can do. I kept saying my art is really useless, I will have no future.But he was the one who gave me that self confidence, who assured me that I can be "someone" one day. I kept confiding in him in msn,and all those encouraging words. Those "oh-god-my-life-sucks" days, he made me feel better,even though he himself was going through a rough time.Now, I remember. I didn't take note of it, but now, as i suddenly stumble upon that CD, i remember Ryyan.

"Don't you do things halfway Atiqah. Be a good girl, make your mum proud. And believe in yourself that you can make it.It's just O levels. There will be more challenges up ahead. I will be right here if you need me."

Oh gosh Ryyan. I am missing you. I am so sorry.

one of his testimonials for me.

My eyes tells a different story. He knows when im sad.You guys may say why am i still talking about him.But if you were in my shoes.If you were as close to Ryyan as i was.You would understand.Try.Having your close friend leaving you,without giving you a chance to apologise for all your mistakes to him,and see,if you can still stay strong and cool. If you breakdown, it means you have a heart.I am not weak. I am just a little bit more human than you people.

Sorry guys again. I just want to remember this special friend of mine. Nothing more than that. I just want my memories with him to stay with me. And yes, I am sad right now. But I've already let go. Because he is gone.

If you can ever hear or see me Ryyan. Thank you. For being there most of the time. (:

back to black.


TIQ. I don't describe myself. Naddy Diyanah Syafiqah Yasmin Nunun Fahimah Izzat Shakir Khairiah Cindy Syahilla Ayuni Sopiute Nabila Seri Ubaida Syafiq Liya Sue Syiqin Marsya Nurul December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 March 2010	Saturday, December 8, 2007 I'm sorry guys,if you get sick of me talking about Ryyan, but this post is going to be about him again. I was watching all my untitled burned CD's with my family in the living room. Well, there's some raya pictures which dated as old as 2004. Had a few laughs at my stupid black face here and there. Reminiscing of the good ol moments. Till i put in and played a CD which contains pictures of my O level art and a few of Ryyan's mum bellydancing. He was the one who helped me during my "stressful" days of the O levels. When i had no digicam at that time, he was the one who offered me to borrow his camera. When i had no pictures,he was the one who offered to take some for me.And i forgot about that. Just when i looked at the pictures, some of which he took for me at his home, some pictures which have his school uniform in it(with that councillor badge,:D), his room, his guitar, i start to remember all that he has done for me. He was the first person who really believed in what i can do. I kept saying my art is really useless, I will have no future.But he was the one who gave me that self confidence, who assured me that I can be "someone" one day. I kept confiding in him in msn,and all those encouraging words. Those "oh-god-my-life-sucks" days, he made me feel better,even though he himself was going through a rough time.Now, I remember. I didn't take note of it, but now, as i suddenly stumble upon that CD, i remember Ryyan. "Don't you do things halfway Atiqah. Be a good girl, make your mum proud. And believe in yourself that you can make it.It's just O levels. There will be more challenges up ahead. I will be right here if you need me." Oh gosh Ryyan. I am missing you. I am so sorry. one of his testimonials for me.My eyes tells a different story. He knows when im sad.You guys may say why am i still talking about him.But if you were in my shoes.If you were as close to Ryyan as i was.You would understand.Try.Having your close friend leaving you,without giving you a chance to apologise for all your mistakes to him,and see,if you can still stay strong and cool. If you breakdown, it means you have a heart.I am not weak. I am just a little bit more human than you people. Sorry guys again. I just want to remember this special friend of mine. Nothing more than that. I just want my memories with him to stay with me. And yes, I am sad right now. But I've already let go. Because he is gone. If you can ever hear or see me Ryyan. Thank you. For being there most of the time. (: back to black. 2:03 PM ·